To Aunty D…

I’ve been trying to find the words to express how I feel, and I simply cannot. You were a big part of my life and I can’t truly grasp what has happened. I love you so much and I know you love me. We had this bond, that I don’t have with any one else. You understood me on a level that I haven’t even gotten too. I will never forget our endless conversations about any and everything. You always knew when to call me. It was as if we had some type of mental connection that alerted you anytime I need advice or was just stressing out and needed to be to reminded that I’m a Ogbeide man and that I am capable of not only building an airplane with my bare hands, but that I can start an airplane business that will change the airplane game. Every time I think of you, I can’t help but smile. I remember the last time we spoke, you sounded so strong, but I could tell you weren’t your full self. Even through all of that, you were still making jokes and telling me how proud of me you were. Then when you heard one of my friends talking in the background you said, “tell that girl to go away, this is my time.” Man I wanted my wife to meet you so badly. I’ve always said that I would strongly reconsider my engagement if you didn’t like her. That’s how much your opinion meant to me. You were my rock! I knew if the whole world turned against me, my Aunty Donna would always love me. I can hear your voice now, “you know you’re my favorite.” I valued our talks so much. They were filled with so much joy and love; I don’t think anyone will ever be able to take your place. You always encouraged me to chase my dreams without any fear. I never had to worry that you would dismiss my dreams, as childish pipe dreams. Now reading about your work, I can see why. You and I are both visionaries. It must have been so scary to start your own firm, but you did it and you knew that I am capable of achieving my scary goals. You saw and understood this man in me, that I’m still trying find. I remember staring at the phone sometime and thinking, “who is this woman talking about, because it ain’t me.” The care packages! My God the care packages. You put so much love and thought into each one them. The crazy thing is, I wore the shirt you bought me the day you passed and thought of you all day. I think you were trying to prepare me. It was like you were saying, “it’s okay darling” (man, I loved when you called me darling), I’m going to a better place. Thank you for showing me what unconditional love feels like. Not once did I feel like you were judging me, even when you were checking me, I knew it was nothing but love. I promise that I will pay it forward, like you would have wanted me too. I will be the man you saw in me. I will not disappoint you Aunty. I promise that I will be there for Osama and try to link up with him as much as possible, like you kept telling me too, he’s my brother. I see so much of you in him. He loves people with all his heart. You have shaped him into an amazing black man, that you like you said, “ain’t got no baby mammas, no prison record, and is fully educated.”

I love you Aunty D…

Till we meet again… I know you’ll meet me at the pearly gates with a hug, a smile, and ghirardelli’s chocolate.

J is alive

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